


Frenemies

by fairytalehearts



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), Gotham (TV), Justice League - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types, The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Body Swap, F/M, Frenemies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-12
Updated: 2015-08-12
Packaged: 2018-04-14 09:22:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4559256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairytalehearts/pseuds/fairytalehearts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"...You’re also the first person I’ve ever met who didn’t instantly love Felicity. Cisco calls her a national treasure ."<br/>Felicity and Selina don't exactly get along.... Future Fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Selina is- Selina

**Author's Note:**

> Mentions Flash characters. And LOT characters.

“You know Oliver is already married.” Bruce pointed out from across the table where he was sealing their invitations shut for her. Like a good manservant. After his elegant proposal, she had contacted his assistant for a day off every month to help prepare.

Which basically meant he stared at his phone while she asked him questions about their upcoming nuptials.

Selina looked down to her invitation that she had painstakingly handwritten and shrugged, “Is he? I’ve never met her.”

She was fond of the green archer and liked to think he was responsible for helping Bruce become less of an asshole. When the two of them were together there was a lot of grunting and apparently that made him Bruce’s pick for Best Man over Clark.

Restarting the invitation, she vowed that she would have the printer do the invites for anyone outside of the wedding party. Waiting expectantly, she kicked him in the shin and motioned for him to spit out the name.

“Felicity Queen? CEO of Queen, Inc.? Really, Cat?”

She obediently wrote down “Oliver and Felicity” and recycled the invitation that read “Oliver Queen + 1”.

The next time Oliver was in town for league business, she tucked the invitation into his luggage, and wrote on the card that the two of them should get coffee the next time she was in Star City. Felicity never called or wrote or did anything about the invite and Selina had shrugged it off as a missed connection.

“Mistress Selina, I found this underneath the kitchen counter when they installed the new fridge.” Alfred explained, handing her the invitation addressed to “Mr. And Mrs. Queen.”

Which meant Felicity had never received her note. And she had received one that read _Oliver + 1_. Embarrassed at the faux pas, she attempted to call Felicity on the number Bruce provided and was sent to voicemail.

“Hi, Felicity. This is Selina Kyle. I just wanted to apologize for the invitation faux pas.”

Apparently, Miss Perfect had both poorly received the invitation and thought that she was inviting some alleged mistress of Oliver’s to their wedding and was personally insulted at her rudeness. It was an honest mistake and this _broad_ was taking it to the next level of batshit crazy.

And the INTERVIEW!

_“Mrs. Queen now onto some lighter topics, the biggest celebrity wedding this year is between Gotham billionaire, one of your business partners, Bruce Wayne, and long-time on and off again beau, Selina Kyle. What can you tell us about this magical evening?”_

_“Linda, I have to be honest, I wasn’t even invited. My husband’s the best man, so hopefully they let me in the door.”_

The woman laughed like an idiot and Lois was all over that interview on twitter talking about the diss of the century. It’s not like she’d been invited to Felicity’s wedding anyway.

When her assistant calls to schedule a meeting between the two of them she not-so-politely declines.

“You’re overreacting. You’re also the first person I’ve ever met who didn’t instantly love Felicity. Cisco calls her a national treasure and she was instrumental in Oliver becoming the Green Arrow.” Laurel commented motioning towards the perp running away. “I bet you I get there first.”

Selina smirked before back flipping right off the edge of the building and down ten stories before wrapping herself around a light post and square into the guy’s chest. She’s already returned the purse and called Jimmy for the collar when Laurel catches up to her.

She bet Felicity Queen couldn’t do that.

***

Felicity didn’t understand why this wasn’t more pressing to her husband. She was mid-crisis and even though it wasn’t life or death it was definitely still a crisis. Oliver, face deep into a bowl of Wheaties had been watching her pace around the kitchen for the better chunk of an hour, just eating cereal, watching as she explained her dilemna.

“I don’t see why you’re so upset. You don’t have to be friends with her.” Oliver didn’t even pause to chew or swallow and if she wasn’t convinced he was the hottest person on this planet she definitely would have hocked him for that.

Staring at her _boyfriend_ (he had been demoted in the past ten seconds that was for sure) she hoped the daggers were properly conveyed in her vision.

“That’s the problem. I need to be friends with her. But she’s a _horrible_ person.”

Oliver paused the conversation to drink the rest of the milk out of the bowl and motioned for her to come closer. “You don’t _need to_ be friends with her.”

Felicity pointed to the wedding announcement on the fridge, where he had been formally asked to be a groomsman with a Rolex and some secret super hero thing she wasn’t allowed to see. There was a picture of Bruce and Selina with all of their bridal party, Laurel and Selina on the front cover. Smiling.

They were smiling because they did some stupid hangout thing where they beat up muggers or something equally weird once a month and didn’t invite her. Didn’t even let her run point from the Arrow Floor.

And while she knew Oliver always took her side in arguments (unless said argument was with him) he was very good at showing distaste at her ‘horrible’ comment without using his words.

“You’re friends with her.” Felicity pointed out, motioning to the picture of Selina getting a piggyback ride from her husband on the cover. The two of them got along like gangbusters or the Scooby gang or some other weird club that did not involve her. They went on missions together with Bruce and while Hal might be Oliver Bestest Friend in the League, she was sure Selina was a close second.

Oliver tried to avoid eye contact, even though she was sitting in his lap, “But I love you?”

If his stupid face wasn’t so cute whenever he said “I love you”, she’d demote him down to roommate. Kissing the tip of his nose, she shrugged her shoulders, hoping for the answer to her current dilemma. She would have to go to the woman’s wedding, and smile and laugh and pretend she wanted to be there with all of the womenfolk when she’d rather be talking shop with the boys down in the Batcave.

“Be honest, Oliver. She hates me. And all of our friends are friends with her. But me. One of my friends is even marrying her!”

“She’s not friends with Lois either?” Oliver suggested, “Selina is- Selina.”

Felicity could tell that he wanted to say something but he was keeping silent as per usual. Which wasn’t helpful because they were going to be in Gotham for a week setting up SmoakNet in the Batcave, the place where Selina (sometimes) lived.

Picking up her suitcase, she waited for Oliver to rinse out his bowl before picking up his own duffle. She had three bags of things and he had a duffle bag. One of his suits was tucked into her garment bag and some nice pants but this was apparently a vacation, and Vacation!Oliver only wore one pair of shorts and t-shirt.

And his Green Arrow costume-

This trip was going to suck.

**

“Which one of us took networking classes?” “Whose cave is this?”

“Which one of us is a computer savant?” “Which one of us owns a tech company?”

“Which one of us is a metahuman and can definitively say you’re all full of shit.”

For the 100th time in the past hour, Selina had wished she would have taken Laurel’s offer to stay in Star City for the week while the so-called Justice League was at Wayne Manor. She, being sentimental when it came to Bruce, needed to be in town for their anniversary. Bruce couldn’t remember his own birthday some years but he always remembered the first time they kissed.

Which was in three days. Today she and Oliver watched all of the super-nerds argue about how to get a secure connection into the Batcave. Now that she thought about it, Oliver really didn’t need to be there because the only thing he’d done was raid their wine cellar and watch his wife bend over the antiquated control panels.

It was easy to think of Bruce as Batman, the suave confident adult he’d become since his formative years. Something about being with the super nerds turned him into that little boy genius, awkward and cute and- annoying. Currently, the five of them were huddled under a control panel, their feet sticking out at awkward angles.

Sneakers, Sneakers, Heels, Boots, Italian Loafers.

Felicity always in the fucking middle of everything like always.

Selina didn’t understand how someone as calm and focused as Oliver Queen would be with- that woman. She was a bundle of nervous energy and while there was no-doubt she was a genius, it was annoying how peppy she was. All the god damn time.

“Come on kitten, let’s go get some lunch.” Selina wrapped her arm around Oliver’s and pointed her toe near Bruce’s ankle, “We’ll be back, B.”

Bruce rolled out from underneath the console panel and gave her a pointed look.

“I solemnly swear to not bring in any strays.” She promised with a little wave, grimacing while Oliver bent down to kiss Felicity’s hand before they left.

Alfred brings the car around and Selina steps inside, already knowing where she wanted to go.

The two of them play with cats at the Gotham Animal Rescue, the place where most of the money for her side jobs went, and then lunch and shopping, Oliver dutifully carrying her bags while she browsed in the men’s section.

She had already informed Oliver that his closet was more than a dumping ground for designer labels. He had to think about things like outfits and purposes. And he would not be wearing jean shorts ever again- Alfred had already thrown away the shorts he’d brought with him. Thank god for text messaging.

The paparazzi stops her to inquire about the wedding and why Oliver Queen is in Gotham.

“Bruce is having a boy’s night out tonight for a bachelor’s party.” Selina lied smoothly, heading for the door to the next building.

The photog stopped to check his camera, “So are you and Mrs. Queen going to hit The G Spa or The Hotel Belle Monaco? She told me this morning she’s in town on business with Mr. Wayne.”

Oliver, her supposed friend, opens up his big mouth and confirms the G Spa this evening being a great idea. Fuck. Now she was going have to suffer through five hours of spa treatments with the insufferable woman.

“I hate you.” Selina pointed out, using his credit card to pay for the purchases she’d accumulated. She would need to call his sister to do some more recon work on his wardrobe, Bruce was letting his groomsmen wear whatever they wanted and her wedding photos would not be left in the hands of men with no fashion sense.

Her wedding wouldn’t be perfect, but it would be picturesque. She didn’t plan on getting married again. And Bruce sure as shit wasn’t going to get any of those floozies to walk down the aisle with him.

“Whatever happened between the two of you, you both need to get over it.” Oliver sighed, obviously ready to go back, holding his hand out for the safe return of his credit card.

“What do you mean, ‘between the two of you’?  _I’m awesome_. This is all on her.”

That evil blonde had not done one thing to thank her for her hospitality or inquire where she and Bruce were registered. Or apologize for that whole “invitation overreaction”.

“I’m just glad Bruce didn’t make me put her in the wedding party.”

“I didn’t think Bruce could make you do anything, Lina.” Oliver pointed out, putting the bags on the ground and suddenly realizing that his wallet was missing.

“There’s a few things.” She winked, waving happily at Alfred and the car.

**

Selina Kyle, despite her alleged rags to riches story was the worst human being on the planet. Aside from the breaking and entering charges, the petty theft and the, you know, general thievery and bad behaviors-

She got to do it with Batman’s permission.

She had met Bruce long before she knew he was Batman. He was a smart man, attractive. And while she knew Oliver was not particularly fond of the family business back in the day but Bruce was a business savant. Some of the things he did to manipulate business dealings were nothing short of genius and she’s sure if she could get the Allen-Smoak-Ramone Cognition test on him he’d score top marks.

If she didn’t know he was a good guy, she’d think he was an evil mastermind.

Just like she knew Selina Kyle was devil incarnate.  She told the paparazzi they were going to the spa together. What on earth would possess a person to do that? Didn’t cats have a thing against water? Felicity had meticulously timelined her whole trip to Gotham. Leaving time for long meals with her husband and one five hour block of time for some shopping and touring the Wayne Building.

She did not have eight hours at the spa, plus brunch in the morning. Plus sleeping in the same room as her. The concept of a business trip was apparently foreign to vigilante philanthropists, just one of the many things the woman had done to annoy her.  She had preemptively given Oliver all of her nice jewelry before getting into the car with Selina.

Normally she enjoyed car rides, she could catch up on work, emails, chit chat with Oliver to the office.

The two of them, in complete silence, rode downtown from Wayne Manor and to the luxurious spa. Selina reapplied her lipstick which Felicity took as a cue to plaster on best smile and wave at the cameras. Fuck this shit.

She had planned to ditch Selina in the lobby and Meerkat the boys while they attempted to install SmoakNet on the Wayne Servers. Her tablet was in her giant purse and then there was Thea and Laurel to check on back in Star City. Things she could do from SmoakNet if Bruce would just let her rewire the damn cave instead of patching a system he built before she was born.

Unfortunately, they are used to Selina frequenting the spa, and the Concierge personally escorts them to the five star spa located on the 27th floor, with its own private sundeck, mud pits and Michelin-rated chef on site for snacks.

And the snacks were amazing.

In her own personal hell, the two of them strip and sip expensive wine completely naked, sitting in mud.

And the food. So good. She would Instagram it for Dig if she weren’t afraid her phone would fall into the giant pit of mud.

“So this is relaxing.” Felicity finally bit the bullet. If Oliver and Laurel were friends with this woman she couldn’t be too bad.

“I prefer we don’t speak.”

She was wrong.

**

Selina could almost forget about their houseguests when Bruce was on his A-game.

Anniversaries did not vary much, but the first thing he would do in the morning is kiss her and then they would have breakfast ordered in just for the two of them, followed by a luxurious shower and they would watch old movies all afternoon at the theater downtown, then dinner with Jimmy and his wife Lee at her favorite restaurant.

Alas, none of that shit happened because the electricity was out throughout the entire mansion because the Tin Can had messed something up while he was tiny. And then they had to find him before he got big again on accident inside the wall and died. Apparently the suit was having power issues and they were on a very strict timeline to get him out of the walls before he became his normal, oafish self.

She ate cold Belgian waffles in the bathtub alone.

Cisco got the electricity back on and upgraded her phone to be secure on the new network. SmoakNet. What a fucking joke. It was a test of hubris to name something after yourself and while the phone looked nice it was hardly a consolation from her ruined morning.

Four more days. Four more days.

“-You’re being petty, Selina.” Bruce pointed out, parking the car in front of the valet station.

“Can you blame me? Mrs. Perfect Wife is a CEO of a Fortune 50 company, can hack the Pentagon and designs Top Secret Security Software for fun in her spare time. I’ve known Clark for years and even he’s wrapped around her little finger now. All of them are.”

She didn’t even want to be in their stupid super club. All of her friends were friends with her and she just didn’t see the blonde’s appeal. And she totally dyed her hair that blonde-

Seeing Jim, she did her best to smile at people she actually liked when he sat down at the table with Lee. Which is when she noticed the two extra chairs.

Fucking ambushed by Bruce Wayne. Again.

Felicity and Oliver apologize for being late, but something about the way she straightens Oliver’s tie speaks volumes. Now, she had her hunches that Oliver was handsy, but Miss Perfect getting lucky in the back of the towncar was just a little too out of the realm of possibility.

Blondie talks animatedly about everything from applied sciences to crime rates in Gotham. And then the book she was reading and her interior decorator and Jimmy and Lee just eat the shit up like she’s the second coming.

She goes to the bathroom to powder her nose and Felicity follows her some sort of personal nightmare and she watches the blonde breathing heavily, “I envy you, you know?”

Selina drops her lipstick into the sink but catches it before it ruins the tube, “What?”

“You’re like so calm and poised and elegant. And so confident, and frankly you kick literal ass, I mean there’s no way I could de-program alarms and live safes before the police got there while cartwheeling and backflipping and don’t even get me on the heights thing- Laurel told me about that swan dive you took off the rooftop last month. I’ve been married to Oliver for a year and I can’t even make small talk with the Police Commissioner. I just ramble on like an idiot about crime rates! He knows the crime rates, Felicity.”

Looking up at the blonde in the mirror, Selina thought carefully about her response. If she was a bigger person she would admit to being jealous. But she was Selina Fucking Kyle and she didn’t cry about her problems to anyone, let alone the source of her insecurity.

“You’ll get the hang of it.” Selina said instead patting her on the shoulder.

“You’re a bitch. But I already have a nemesis and I’m _remarkable,_ so I’m gonna have the jet come pick you up next week and we’ll go shopping with Lois- another bitch- and then we’ll get really drunk on cheap wine and bitch about our emotionally unavailable husbands who happen to save the world.”

Selina blinks at the strange woman in front of her, but Felicity had already shoved her clutch under her arm and grabbed her hand, leading her back towards the table.

“Selina and I are friends now.” Felicity announced to the table. Her smirk said she wasn’t happy her current announcement either.

Bruce and Oliver share a look and Selina wishes for a stiff drink. Or food poisoning.


	2. Some Complications

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If she were own body she would just get them herself. But Felicity’s idea of working out was yogalates.

“So I say for the final time, whose idiotic idea was this?!?!”

Lois Lane was a woman with limited patience. Most of it was spent on Clark. And she honestly did not mind it, because Clark was her husband, and gorgeous and smart, and you know, SUPERMAN- which left little patience for things like her job. She would rather be doing anything than “hanging out” with Mrs. Snooty Pants and Mrs. Geek Girl.

She, unlike the two of them, worked for a living (Okay, Felicity had a job but she didn’t have to be out in the trenches). But Felicity was nice and Selina was tough and the two of them hated each other even though their “friendship” was more like blatant animosity. Coming to the invite-only cybersecurity panel at the Tech Convention was supposed to be a favor. Not “Help me with ____. I hate her” weekend.

Her 7 million twitter followers expected updates from the tech conference and instead she was playing referee to two children. Who had somehow switched bodies and while watching Felicity pace like Selina and Selina connected to her phone was amusing, they might need to call the superhusbands to figure this one out.

She, unlike the two of them, liked relying on Clark. Because he knew when to laugh at these idiots.  It had been over twelve hours and these things tended to stick if not dealt with. Shooting him a quick text, she hoped he wasn’t busy at work and could zip at least Bruce over to figure this out.

While she had been trying to figure this out via text message they had kept arguing. Finally, Lois asks them to start over at the beginning. They both point at each other and then both launch into the story.

**

Felicity walked into the Lobby, double checking her badge, her note cards and her briefcase. She looked stylish, but not too aggressive and she had made sure her bags had been meticulously packed by her husband the night before.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come?” Oliver had asked and she shook her head yes, but said no.

She needed to put on her big girl pants and the three of them made nice chit chat on the flight to Vegas. After declaring their friendship things had been more or less the same. But Selina slapped Bruce’s ass before hopping on the jet, so hopefully things were going in the right direction.

Lois never turned off her reporterness so after they landed was non-stop questions about her company which she was saving for later. Exclusives were what Lois bartered for friendship so she should be used to it. Stopping to visit with her mother, she had hoped her mother hadn’t seen the two women she walked in with but-

Her mother was her mother, and of course she saw them and of course she needed to introduce herself.

“My name’s Donna. Felicity has probably told you nothing about me, so I’ll start. I am her mother. I raised my little computer genius alone and I knew she and Ollie were going to get married the first minute I saw them. She wants me to retire. I told her I’m not retiring until I have a grandbaby. Her move.”

Publicly embarrassed for her lack of baby-making, Felicity looked for the nearest place she could hide until Lois was done interrogating her mother.  Selina was oddly quiet, but was polite to her mother and didn’t refuse the hug her mother forced on the three of them.

“We’ll get dinner tonight, Mom.” Felicity reassured her, “I have my speech at 10 AM, Then My Lunch Talk at 12, then I have my update with the Experimental Science Department, interviews with the press and then the server update, then I can do early dinner at 5 or late dinner at 8.”

Her mother agrees to 5 and Felicity promises to see her later.

“What does the illustrious Mrs. Queen have to do for three hours at night?” Selina asked, very not sincerely. Not that she did anything sincerely but snark and harass her husband via Facebook Chat.

“Oliver usually patrols for three hours and I like to watch his back. Digitally. I put a camera in his new suit.”

Selina shares a look with Lois before they head towards the hotel.

Felicity had a weird vibe about something so she turned at the last second to see someone creeping around the corner and shove a needle into her arm. 1) She hated needles and 2) WTF? Who tries to kidnap one of the most visible women in the world in front of two of the other most visible women in the world?

Selina had the creep by the arm, her knee pinned to his back.

“You’re going to talk. Or you’re not going to have eyes.”

The man had a second needle stashed in his sleeve and pricked Selina. Which annoyed the other woman more than anything.

Whatever he injected her with had no effect. She felt fine, and while Lois was giving her statement to the police, Felicity went over her notes to calm herself down. When one of the officers asked her name she sighed.

“Dr. Felicity Queen. I’m due to give a talk on Queen, Inc.’s new cyber security policies at the conference in an hour. I’d be happy to give my statement then, I’ll have my private physician, Dr. Caitlin Snow on standby.”

Thankfully the Queen name was enough to get them to leave her alone.

Checking into their room, she reviewed her itinerary with Lois and Selina was- off to shop or lounge poolside, whatever it was that Selina did all day. Maybe she would case the casino and they’d have an Ocean’s Eleven sort of day but she doubted Selina was that creative.

With just enough time to refresh her hair and makeup, she strode into the conference center and stumbled up the stairs to where her presentation was going to take place. Righting herself, she looked up at the moderator and smiled.

“I’m fine.”

Her one hour presentation got extended into an hour and thirty minutes, while many of her competitors and the media asking numerous questions about other technologies Queen, Inc. was developing as well as personal questions about her husband.

“Mayor Queen is very busy in Star City and regrettably could not attend today’s conference. Although I’m sure he’s watching online.” Felicity waved to the camera and the press ate it up. Being Star City’s favorite power couple was definitely the easiest of her many jobs.

Exiting the stage, she had just enough time to make it to her lunch chat, and she tripped over one of the power cables on the ground, hitting the floor. When she looked up at her surroundings she was no longer in the Ballroom but a seedy looking pawn shop.

“Well, do we have a deal?” Goon #1 asked and somehow she knew he was going for the 9mm that was tucked into his jeans. Reaching behind her own back, she retrieved a whip, expertly wrapping it around his wrist.

“Guns? Really?”

Felicity caught her reflection in the glass counter, and instead of her trademark glasses and blonde ponytail, Selina’s head of curly waves and too much eyeliner were staring back at her.

Which meant if she was here Selina was probably giving her lunch talk. With people she was trying to steal for her consumer technology division.

Releasing the whip she definitely didn’t know how to use, Goon #2 tossed her a velvet bag. “I don’t know why you’d want a dead billionaire’s old cufflinks anyway.”

Inside the bag, the two very expensive looking gold cufflinks with the Wayne Crest.

The faded yellow piece of paper had a letter to Solomon Wayne which was practically illegible but clearly addressed from Tad Queen. ‘Found these with Dorothea’s things. You bastard.’ was all the note said.

Felicity took the bag and headed back outside into the heat. Checking Selina’s phone, it was locked. Great. Hacking into it was easy when you built a secret workaround into all of your superphones, and while she had three missed calls from Bruce, there was also a text from Oliver asking if she got the package.

Texting him back, she almost put her flirty emoticon when she realized she really was in Selina’s body. On the other side of town. And if her busy schedule was any indication she was going to have a very awkward conversation with her ES Department.

Clicking around for an uber she made a mental note to pay Bruce back for the inconvenience.

**

“Whoa, hold the fuck up.” Selina snapped stopping Felicity’s story.

Lois looked to Selina where she was definitely not impressed with Felicity’s storytelling.

“Bruce doesn’t pay for _any_ of my things.” Selina pointed out, shifting uncomfortably from the foot of the bed. “I do one favor for _your husband_ and I’m the one who was inconvenienced and my cufflinks are gone.”

Lois briefly wonders if it was unethical to live-tweet two of your friends getting into a chick fight but when Selina gets in Felicity’s face, the blonde keeps her cool, “Sorry I misplaced your cufflinks while I was rushing across town to save face with my company, my investors and my colleagues.”

“Please. A trained monkey could have done that ridiculous lunch. It took me thirteen years to track down those cufflinks and another year to convince the buyer that I wasn’t going to rat them out for stealing them. And now they’re gone forever.”’

For two of the strongest humans on the planet, Lois wondered how it was possible for the two of them not to get along, “Isn’t this anti-feminist for the two of you to STILL be like this?”

“Being feminist doesn’t mean you can’t hate other women, you just believe they’re all equal. We equally cannot stand each other.” Selina informed the two of them, clearly not liking the words spoken with Felicity’s voice.

“This is what _really_ happened.”

**

The lunch was boring. They all asked the same questions, asked about the new security initiatives, how the newest interns were doing, if their partnership with Cal Tech was as lucrative, blah blah blah. Rich business types only pretend to be interested in their competitors so they can leech ideas or get in someone’s pants.

And whoever Omni Tech sent definitely wanted in her pants.

Selina, being a worldly, experienced woman was not shocked that she had switched bodies with her frenemy but was more concerned with Bruce’s wedding present from his best man.

Excusing herself from the table, she went to the bathroom to powder her nose, digging in Felicity’s purse for her cell phone. Locked. There was no thumbprint scanner or any hint to her password but she could see the frantic texts from “Crazy Cat Lady” popping up every five seconds.

_That Bitch!_

The door to the women’s bathroom opened up and the Omni Tech guy was there and apparently thought that her going to the bathroom was some sort of cue for him to pounce. Although her current body lacked the years of training on the street, Selina jabbed at his windpipe before kneeing him in the groin.

“I’m married and definitely not interested in you.”

Felicity finally used her big girl brain and called her phone instead of texted, and Selina swiped to answer, “I don’t know how we got like this, but someone just tried to accost you in the bathroom and I’m currently bored out of my mind listening to people suck up to me. I need you to do me a favor. Turn your fucking car around and head to the Jamison Street Grill.”

“Selina, I am not in the mood to do you any favors. I have my-”

“You coming here is not going to help. We don’t have time to figure out how we got this way and I’m on a timetable. Since you’re not dead I’m assuming you got the cufflinks and my fence will be expecting the payment toute suite.”

Selina tugged the harsh ponytail out of her (Felicity’s) hair and ran her hands through it. Her own curly mane only got this straight after chemicals and hours of straightening.

“I can’t miss this meeting, Selina.”

“And I can’t miss mine. You know I have an MBA from Columbia. Just like I know you can talk your way into the back room of the restaurant and click-click-bam someone into giving up the goods.”

Selina hung up the phone and made her way back to her lunch table.

After the people who kissed her ass, there were actually some contractors looking for funding. A few she passed on, too similar to some of Bruce’s upcoming projects until finally a girl took her chance and sat down at the table.

In silence.

“It’s not like you have a PowerPoint. Just- talk to me about your project and why it needs funding. It’s caz. Lunch time and all that stuff.”

The girl couldn’t be more than 16 and was definitely the youngest in the room. But she had put on a nice dress before pulling out some note cards.

“Hello. My name is Kayla Gibson and I am here to talk to CEO, Felicity Queen about some of the computer applications I am developing, using the Five W’s. Who- Felicity Queen nee Smoak is the only female CEO at the top five technology-based companies. She is active in development of research and was born in Vegas, like myself. Fun fact: Felicity Smoak was the only person in the history of Las Vegas High School to be accepted at MIT, let alone get a full ride. Her improvements to the school’s network are still in use today and with her endowment we have actual computer science courses.”

The girl goes on to detail her project, something she called Crawler and while Selina might not be a hundred percent sure on what the girl is rambling on about, she knew how to read people. Her note cards had been discarded when she started talking with her hands, obviously excited about her project.

She had also skipped school because her backpack was still on and she had a bus pass in her hands.

“Ms. Gibson. I’ve heard enough.”

The girl literally deflates, the easy smile wiped form her features.

Digging into Felicity’s purse, Selina scribbled a note on the paper and handed her a business card from her wallet. “You’re young. And you’ve got good ideas, what are your plans this summer? I don’t normally take people as young as you but that card has my personal email and send your proposal and I’ll see you June.”

Heading back to her hotel room, she vowed if she saw Felicity she would kick her ass.

The conference call goes well and when she hears the door click, it’s herself.

Or it would be herself if she lived on a deserted island and forgot to bathe or apply perfume or reapply lipstick. “Well?”

“There were some complications.”

Selina didn’t want to hear the story. She was too upset. Retrieving her phone from her purse she checked her messages, just one from Bruce, a brief ‘Miss you’, “I spent years looking for those cufflinks and in one afternoon you ruined my wedding surprise.”

“Feel free to get them back. I put a tracer on him. He mentioned a shipment coming in tonight.”

If she were own body she would just get them herself. But Felicity’s idea of working out was yogalates.

“Now, I’ve got fifteen minutes to prep you on the interviews.” Felicity reached over towards her ear and flipped on her earbud. The static hissed for a minute before calibrating, “There’s a mic in my tooth. Oliver’s wedding present.”

In the span of an hour Felicity had lost her precious family heirloom, hacked her cellphone and gotten back to the hotel in one piece. She could handle one lousy meeting.

Selina zipped the front of Felicity’s dress back up and tried to mimic the slouching position the blonde seemed to have. Nope. Straightening herself out, she walked confidently into the room Felicity directed her to and sat down.

“Whoa. You look different. Did you get a haircut?”

The woman smiled and hugged her before Selina could sit down, “I just decided to wear it down today.”

Instead of anything helpful, Felicity was saying “shit” over and over again before rambling on about something. “Sorry. This is Iris. Iris West-Allen. I didn’t realize she’d be here today. She’s a friend.”

Selina could work with that, “So how’s our favorite little speedsters?”

Iris smiles, pulling a picture up on her phone, “They’re great but I had to go back to work. Barry’s with the twins. He can zip around a lot faster than I can and Mommy needed a break.”

She had never met Iris, she was pregnant on bed rest when she met Laurel and after that their paths had never crossed. Bruce and Barry weren’t exactly best friend material, in fact whenever Bruce mentioned the speedster it was of mild annoyance and-

“Sorry. One second.” Selina whipped out her phone and texted Bruce about being a hypocrite. 

“Sorry, continue.”

Felicity told her what to say and she did, and then kissed the woman on the cheeks before the next reporter came in. Apparently being friends with reporters had their benefits, where Iris got the first scoop, Lois chose to go last so she could pick her questions wisely.

Where her chat with Iris was more like conversation this was an interrogation. Lois was relentless in her pursuit of the truth. Question after question about things Felicity was sure Lois should definitely not know about.

When it was over, she had babbled more than she could remembered babbling. Lois gave her a patronizing hug before going elsewhere and Selina gave a relieved sigh.

“Felicity!”

Oh no.

Mrs.? Ms.? Smoak. Damnit what was her name again?

Shutting off Felicity freaking out in her ear she wondered just how hard it would be to deal with one person’s mother?

**


	3. Sorry It’s My First Breach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Selina frowned. Why did everyone think she had cats all the time?

Her mother was at dinner with Selina.

Felicity banged Selina’s head against the counter and while not wearing glasses was nice, she didn’t want to worry Oliver until he was done with Patrol.

“You know the camera on the back is weird, right?”

“You know that you patrolling solo is a stupid decision, right?” She had voice modulation software on SmoakNet and if Oliver noticed anything he wasn’t saying anything. Star City was pretty quiet. Thea and Curtis stopped a mugging off fifth and Dig and Laurel were all quiet on their front.

That girl Oliver was not training to be his protégé was lurking around too but that was one thing they apparently did not talk about.

Oliver stopped abruptly, looking down at his phone, “Why is your mother texting me about your haircut?”

“I may have switched bodies with Selina and she may be eating dinner with my mother.”

Oliver jumps off the rooftop and swings back to where his bike was parked, the GPS indicating that he was heading towards the airport. She already booked him a flight to Vegas but that was something she didn’t talk about.

“How did this happen?”

“Someone shot us both up with a drug and then I think they mojo’d us. I sent a blood sample to Caitlin and I have feelers out to the relevant metas.”

She had also combed through the hotel security footage and the police report- whoever stabbed them claimed they didn’t remember doing it. He had no record, no priors, no secret parking tickets. His cellphone data showed that he had been in Vegas for three days.

No weird pit stops, no weird anything. Came from L.A. with some friends. Also why switch their bodies? None of this was making any sense. Pulling the thick mess of her hair into a bun, she figured she might as well soak in the tub for a bit before heading to the warehouse to do recon.

**

Dinner with Mother Smoak was not just dinner. It was manicures, shopping with Mother Smoak and then drinks. Then dinner. Then they snuck in to see some shows and-

It was perfect.

Selina’s memories of her own mother had long since left her, replaced by happy ones with Barbara and Lee, Commissioner Gordon was the closest thing to a father she needed- well that and Alfred. Donna Smoak was friendly and warm and if Selina cried about things like lost mothers and horrible fathers then she would have broke down there in the middle of dinner.

Hearing the stories for the first time were amusing of course and not that Felicity ever mentioned her mother at all but she should have. She was hardworking and sure she was a cocktail waitress in Vegas but there were worse things in life. They could be gone.

At the end of dinner, Donna gets a text message from someone named Pookie Bear and Selina teased her mercilessly about it.

“Come on, Mom. Who is it?”

Donna Smoak was positively blushing, which meant that Felicity knew the person. Just not that her mother called him “Pookie Bear.”

And who did Felicity know-

“CAPTAIN LANCE?!”

She needed to call Laurel right this very second. “Is that why you keep hinting that I should have kids? So you can move to Star City to be with Captain Lance?!”

“I didn’t think you’d want me there.”

Of course Felicity would want her mother there. It would be stupid not to-

Whipping out her phone she dialed Laurel, “Hey Bitch.”

The sound of someone screaming, and bones breaking was comforting, “Felicity?”

“Our parents are dating!”

“What? My father. Your mother. When? What?”

Laurel told the bad guy to hold on for a second punching him in the face. Her mother was mortified, great. She deserved to be happy. Who cares if she was older and- that stuff didn’t matter. Laurel’s perp got back up and she promised to call back later.

Realizing she had spoken the words aloud instead of thinking them, her (Felicity’s) mother started crying and wrapped her arms around her body and squeezed.

The last ten people that hugged her were all Bruce. She did not get hugged often obviously, but with an arm full of someone’s mother, she batted the stray tears away from her face. It was nice to feel loved. And for a cop, Captain Lance was one of the good ones.

Selina took a step back, “Just promise me you won’t come visit me at work. Mom. Promise me.”

The blonde nodded, and wiped the tears from her own face, “I’m going to go call Quentin and maybe visit in a few weeks and see how that goes. Call me before you leave.”

“I love you, Mom.”

“I love you too, Sweetie.”

Selina walks back towards their hotel and Felicity is waiting for her in the lobby, “I am so sorry for my mother and the potentially mortifying and invasive questions she asked.”

“My mother sold me for crack. My father, was an undercover cop and when the bust was over he threw her away like trash. I was on my own at 10. I was so behind when Bruce convinced me to go back to school that I had to repeat fifth grade twice. My mother never did anything for me and your mother is the kindest, warmest person I’ve ever met. She loves you, more than anything and so if anyone needs to apologize it’s you to her for being an ungrateful bitch. Now suit up, you’re going after my cufflinks and then I’m calling in every favor I can to get out of your body.”

**

 “Okay. I’m going to stop you two there. This is the longest, most boring story I’ve ever heard. The interesting parts that you skipped: Felicity after the pawn shop, Selina mumbling her way through a Queen presentation. I’m gonna go to sleep and we’ll figure this out in the morning.” Lois made a mental note to never attend anything either the two of them again. But the Queens got the penthouse with the private hot tub and she was going to dictate her notes in comfort and style.

“But-”

“Selina, Felicity is jealous of you because you are friends with her husband and are a classy, badass bitch and Bruce really trusts you to be his partner- on the street and- well- in the sheets. Felicity, Selina is jealous of you because you’re smart. Like really smart and you do all your computery things and that’s something she can never do or be for Bruce. And instead of hugging it out or whatever women do nowadays the two of you hold it against each other. There is only one Felicity and only one Selina and if the two of you were the same you’d hate each other even more.”

They already both knew there was only one Lois. Her role was taken and if you came at her husband with anything: she had a nasty right hook and 7 million twitter followers to do her dirty work for her.

**

Felicity did her best to wiggle around in Selina’s suit and tried to feel comfortable in the latex-like cat suit. She thought with her brain and her brain was telling her that there was no way that this outfit was conducive to robbing people. Maybe running through a slip-n-slide.

If she were to touch a wall it would squeak, the leather rubbing on the unitard and the “shorts” didn’t cover much to even be necessary-

Jumping across the rooftops came easy enough and that whole muscle memory thing was working out for her. For instance when a very familiar archer popped onto the rooftop next to her, the whip was already coiled around his shooting arm with a loud crack.

“Oh my god that was so badass, Babe.” Felicity recoiled the whip and shoved Selina’s googles back onto the top of her head. She kissed his cheek before pacing the rooftop, “I mean her eyesight is great. I would need to get lasik twice to get this crispness. And I mean I can do backflips. Eat it Christy Jones! She used to live over there probably does with her three kids and crappy job-”

Oliver should look amused, but he did not, “Felicity this isn’t show and tell, this is a serious problem.”

Deflated, Felicity nodded, “But if I stop to think about who has the ability to switch us back then I get super depressed.”

Putting the goggles back on, she clicked through the settings and switched to thermal, “I’ve got four on the first floor, one at each door and two on the door outside of the room that x-ray says has the most power inflow.”

“What?” Selina practically shrieks out of the coms, “My goggles?”

The feed was connected to her laptop back in the hotel room, where she could see Lois eating popcorn in her pajamas, Selina hunched over the tiny screen.

“Selina, your goggles were one of the first things on SmoakNet. Cisco and I worked for weeks to get them thermal imaging capabilities and constant transmissions- what did you think the button on the right side was for?”

“Aesthetics?”

“Please tell me you know there’s magnets in your boots so you can find metal in the walls.”

Selina Kyle, Catwoman, was armed to the teeth in gadgets Cisco had been working on developing for years. She must have noticed all of the new gear that slowly started to show up at her doorstep. The high tech gear in the googles, the EMP in her gloves, the communication array in her jacket.

The leather jacket she was wearing was fire resistant, her gloves were able to handle temperatures below freezing and not to mention the CSPD in her boot.

“What’s a CSPD?”

“Cisco Self Protection Device.” Felicity patched the feed into the googles and clicked her heels and then slammed her right foot down. The little energy field surrounded her, knocking Oliver back a good ten feet, “It can withstand a nuclear event, most poisonous gasses and being lit on fire. It can also slow down Barry if he tries to run through it.”

Selina was silent.

Felicity scrolled through the options and tapped the toe, sending her scans of the building, “Now you need to hack the electricity on the lights but not the doors. SmoakNet should do most of it you just need to upload the file to the server.”

Smirking at the satisfied, “Aha! Bitch.”  That came through the coms she assumed Selina got it when the lot lights to the warehouse turned off. Idiots 1-4 ran towards the parking lot while Oliver repelled them to the roof.

Putting his arm out, he waited patiently for her to hold onto his side.

“Selina’s not afraid of heights.” Felicity smiled, grabbing the whip by both ends and ziplining to the rooftop. Oliver followed after her using his bow and Selina’s body knew when to jump and roll to land silently.

Unfortunately for her Guard Number 7 or 8 went to the roof instead of the first floor. He grappled her from behind but Felicity kicked her leg up, the lead lined boot effectively knocking him out. Oliver rolled off the zipline and caught the body before it hit the ground.

“You need to catch the bodies.” Oliver grumbled.

“Sorry it’s my first breach.” Felicity tucked the whip back into her hip holster and switched to thermal again to see if Guard #8 followed his friend to the roof. Coast clear, she bent down to hack the control panel when she realized she didn’t have her tools.

The door clicked open, and she swore Selina was sticking her tongue out at her.

Oliver grabbed her arm gently and motioned that he was going first.

“Which one of us can see in the dark?”

Oliver pointed at his chest and put his serious face on. She rose an eyebrow at him and ducked underneath his arm so she could go first. The whole point of being a metahuman was to use your abilities right?

Guard Number 8 is at the foot of the staircase and Felicity was thankful she didn’t need to think about the following beat down because it would probably make her sick. It was dizzying, dropping low and letting Oliver punch him in the face with his bow, before sliding around him and using the banister to pop up behind him and gripping the doorframe with her gloves to take him down with her legs.

Landing on his back in a crouch, his arm wrenched up and behind his body, Oliver tied his arms together looping the slack in the rope around each of his ankles.

“Come on that was pretty badass.”

Oliver’s sour mood became salty and he glared at her before grabbing his bow and grabbing an arrow from his quiver, ready to strike.

Looking down at the floor she counted five bodies. There should be six, “Selina- where’s the last guard?”

“I’m looking, I’m looking.”

“Just backtrace the timestamp and set a proxy script to search for someone leaving their post before the power went out. Where’s the control room? I can manually take out their walkies from here and then you can use SmoakNet to create a ping or static to find the third one using the satellite-”

A walkie-talkie chirped to their left, and Oliver pulled her towards the wall as the missing guard ran past them, dazed.

Even grumpier than his current grumpy cat status, Oliver put his hand to his com and practically growled, “Selina, when did you call her?”

Felicity didn’t know what he was talking about until three more of the guards passed by them in the same state.

“GREENIE!”

The redhead poked her head out of the secure door and waved.  Poison Ivy. In the slightly green flesh. The woman sashayed and strutted over to Oliver, wrapping an arm around him. “Hi Greenie.”

The vines of her- outfit- curled against his chest and he looked more annoyed than anything, “Pamela. We’ve talked about boundaries. And that was before I was married.”

Pam apparently did not care about boundaries when it came to her husband.

“Yes, I remember now. You’re one of the only humans who tries resist my kiss-”

“Back off my husband, Dr. Isley.” Felicity glared, “If you’ve got the cufflinks, let’s get out of here so I can get back into my own body.”

The drive back to their hotel is quiet, the two of them changing in the back of the van. She forgets halfway through changing that she’s not in her own body and the lack of underwear of any kind causes Oliver to do a double take.

“Sorry.” Oliver muttered, “This is weird.”

She slips into her decidedly “Felicity” clothing and puts her hair up into a ponytail. The curls tickle the back of her neck but she decides to screw it and sits next to Oliver for the rest of the ride.

**

Lois was apparently better at telling the story so she paced back and forth her arms moving wildly around as she overdramatized the whole ordeal. She was apparently very interested in how humans operated, apparently Clark just did everything by himself.

She wasn’t stupid, she noticed that her gear was new, she just assumed Bruce had been tinkering. Now that she knew her goggles had an infrared scanner it would highly useful on her next heist. Holding them up to her eye, she almost forgot that she was wearing Felicity’s glasses before bopping herself in the face.

She missed her cat-like vision. And senses. And her body.

It was weird seeing it, cuddled up against Oliver, wearing Sushi pajamas.

“I was at the pawn shop and then I was in her body. In the span of a blink.” Selina pointed out, briefly wondering if Bruce was already in bed. She wasn’t jealous of Felicity but it did make her feel lonely.

“Zatanna’s out of the dimension, and anyone else who is friendly with the kind of power to change us back is busy. Unless Selina wants to call in a favor to Enchantress.”

“That’s a hard no. That’s a fuck no. I’d rather be stuck in your body, die and then come back as a Black Lantern then owe that crazy bitch a favor. She always asks for weird things like 100 Recently Dead Cats taken from the loving arms of children as their bodies start to cool.”

The last favor she owed her was for a pair of Bruce’s boxers, not washed by Alfred.

If that wasn’t weird she didn’t know what was.

“What about the blood tests?” Oliver asked, his gaze going to Felicity’s body out of habit.

Selina pulled up the email from Caitlin, and read its contents, “Nothing conclusive. The needle was a mild sedative. Our options aren’t looking great. I’ve got a wedding to plan and a Bat to take care of.”

She also did not want to go back to Star City and pretend to run Queen, Inc.

“Well let’s sleep on it and come together in the morning after the conference.” Felicity stood up and held a hand out for Oliver and while she knew, that he knew, his wife was in her body it didn’t make the situation less weird.

“Ladies.” Oliver mumbled following his wife towards the bedroom.

“If your future hubby didn’t have me sign at least 74 non-disclosure agreements I would be snapchatting this whole day. Don’t forget Felicity’s allergy medication before you go to sleep. Should I feed your cats or something?”

Selina frowned. Why did everyone think she had cats all the time?

“You’re babbling like Felicity. You can literally talk to cats. It’s assumed that they talk to you and ask for things like food. Or scratches under the chin.”

“Saying what’s on her mind is one of Felicity’s only good traits.”

“Funny, she said the same thing about you silently judging everyone.” Lois responded, closing her bedroom door behind her.

Sleeping in someone else’s body was uncomfortable. She liked to sleep in the middle of the bed, one arm flung over Bruce’s gorgeous backside while she wriggled and stretched before getting comfortable. Felicity probably liked to sleep near the window, next to the closest power outlet to charge all of her electrical thingies.

Or on top of Oliver because he just looked comfortable.

The thought of her lady bits coming in contact with his male bits made her want to gag. Not that Oliver wasn’t attractive, she just liked to think of him like a brother. Whereas Bruce was the love of her life, his quiet the perfect calm for her craziness.

“Cat?”

Her fingers had done something to her phone, calling Bruce instantly.

“I just really needed to hear your voice, Bruce.”

It was past midnight, he was probably cleaning his batarangs or washing the batmobile or reading quarterly financial reports. There was never a method to Bruce’s home time, he just was constantly busy and when he was free, he would come up to their ginormous bed and let her have her way with him.

“Remember when we were kids you used to sneak over to the mansion and sleep on the couch?”

Selina nodded to herself, hearing someone jump onto her balcony.

She didn’t need Bruce to save her. She _didn’t_.

But that didn’t mean she didn’t need him sometimes for other things, “Don’t get used to this. I’m not going blonde any time soon.”

Bruce looked to her closed door before tossing his bag at the closet and wrapping a well-muscled arm around her, “We’ll figure this out, Cat.”

She really hoped so.


	4. Stranger Things Had Happened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be the end of the fic but then i kept writing....

Waking up, Felicity reached for her alarm clock and instead was met with an arm full of Bruce Wayne.

She had definitely had worse mornings, but Bruce was already awake, glasses perched on the end of his nose. “Smoak.”

“Wayne.” Felicity mumbled, crawling out of the covers glancing down at what Selina had worn to bed. Silk was cold and while nice, she missed her soft pajamas.  “Also we need to talk about that little side project you have Cisco working on because last time I checked Queen, Inc. has ownership of all of his consumer products.”

“Who says he’s working on a Consumer Product?” Bruce offers instead, returning his gaze to the tablet, “Go before your husband comes here and tries to assert his authority on me. He seems to know the exact moment to overreact and then start glaring at everyone like an angry cat.”

“Fuck you, Bruce.” Oliver growled, depositing a sleeping Selina into the bed.

“How did you know it wasn’t me?” Felicity asked, following back across the hall.

“She bats at the air like a cat when she’s asleep.” Oliver joked lamely, rubbing his head and motioning to the coffee maker, “Coffee or shower first?”

Felicity put her foot down, “No seriously. I want to know.”

“You talk in your sleep. About new ideas, about mint chip ice cream. About how the first thing you wanted to do when you’re back in your body involved the shower and some suds-”

Felicity supposed he proved his point. But she was working and the hanky-panky with her husband would need to wait. Chugging her coffee she headed for the bathroom, stopping to twirl her husband around to kiss him.

“I love and appreciate you. But I am so late!”

Oliver has breakfast ready for her when she’s out of the shower and he diligently dries her hair so she can eat, Lois tossing her lipstick from across the table while she tossed her blush.

“This isn’t available in the U.S. yet.” Lois nodded appreciatively, sticking it into her bag, “Lunch. You. Me. West-Allen. Ollie.”

“Ollie?” Felicity asked, running a brush through her hair, “Only two people call you Ollie.”

“I may have taken Lois out to dinner when we were fifteen. Bruce dated her for three weeks after that when she moved to Europe. Didn’t I tell you about that?”

No he did not tell her about that, “Wait was Lois your first date? Was she Bruce’s first date? Is she a Kingmaker?”

“I was Bruce’s first everything.” Selina smirked, already changed out of her pajamas, and into something Felicity could only call “sinful”.  Selina didn’t get jealous apparently and when Bruce, pulling on his designer jeans looked up at the two of them he might have blushed.

Just a little.

When Selina shows up for lunch with the girls later, Felicity forgets to be mad at her for crashing the party, and instead orders her an iced tea with a lime wedge and pulls over a chair. Selina pushes her sunglasses off her face and onto her head and starts laughing at Iris’ story about the twins trying to outrun Barry.

There were little things she shouldn’t remember about Selina- the way she drank iced tea, her all-consuming love for Bruce, the stash of chocolate she had at Wayne Manor. And the other things that involved her biological father, and the affection she felt for Commissioner Gordon and his wife Lee.

Or the doctor’s appointment Selina had before coming to Vegas confirming that she was pregnant. Felicity had a similar appointment before the trip, mouthing the word, “Baby?” to Selina from across the table.

Selina pointed back with her eyes looking down to her stomach and Felicity nodded.

“Felicity and I are friends now.” Selina announced to the group in a very Felicity-esque way.

“Great.” Lois rolled her eyes, “Let’s see how long this lasts.”

Iris smiled, putting a friendly hand over her own, “Now we just need Barry and Bruce to-”

On cue, Oliver and Bruce walk past their patio and her husband leans over the railing to kiss her cheek, “Never gonna happen.”

Felicity kisses him back in earnest and shrugs, “Stranger things have happened.”

Oliver claps Bruce on the back and the two of them head down the strip. He turns around to mouth, “I love you” before disappearing into the crowd.

Stranger things had happened.


	5. Epilogue

Selina looked down at the dress and huffed her hair out of her face. The lighting was impeccable in the little shop Felicity had recommended to her but none of the dresses were- right.

White was one color she avoided wearing and while the dress was certainly a lace masterpiece it was washing out her face and while Laurel had done her makeup impeccably, the white was just too white.

“You are the most indecisive person I’ve ever met.” Laurel bemoaned, taking a sip of her orange juice.

“And you’re not helping.” Felicity informed her friend gently, putting her own juice down, “How committed are you to a white dress. Ivory and this-cream-blush-whatever are just as lovely. Also I might consider something that doesn’t look like it belongs in the bedroom. Just a suggestion.”

The two blondes were not helpful. Lois was in Africa reporting on some super-something-or-other and Pam was perusing the bridesmaids dresses.

Not to mention Oliver, who once he found out Felicity was pregnant refused to be more than ten feet away at all times. They weren’t even showing yet, and with her wedding next week they really needed to pick the dress for everything to work out.

Harry Winston was done with the rings, the venue was booked, the cake, the caterer- she had been everywhere a damn dress and seriously regretted the offers from designers when their engagement was announced for their services.

The assistant came back with some cream dresses and Selina obediently dropped the current dress and climbed into the other one while Laurel zipped it back into its bag.

Fluffing the tule out, the dress was practically backless, save for the antique looking buttons that hugged the back and the skirt was long but not too full. She was not a princess, she was a queen. And the dress hugged in all the right places.

“The skirt is removable in case you want to dance.”

It also had a cape.

Which she liked.

Felicity, rather ungracefully, placed a veil on her head, the beads matched the back of the dress and Oliver cleared his throat before handing her Martha Wayne’s pearls.

“Bruce wanted me to give them to you.”

“What do you think?” Selina whispered not particularly trusting the opinions of the women in the room. The dress, the pomp, the circumstance- they were all for Bruce. She had already to committed to him years ago in her heart and the wedding was just- a final touch.

“Bruce would love you in anything. This is for you, don’t be too hung up on the white or the green-” Oliver motioned to where Pam was adding a little corsage to all of the display models.

“Pammy!”

“The air’s a little thin in here.” Pam “explained” walking back over to join the group.

“Sir- you can’t come in here! This is a private session!”

Oliver, paranoid as ever, grabs a bow out of Felicity’s _purse_ and raises it to whomever was about to interrupt her dress session. Pam simply pulls a plant out of her pocket and it latches onto the poor schmuck- and then promptly incinerates.

“You tried to attack me?” The man growled at her. No one growled at Pam and lived to tell about it.

“You killed my friend. You roasted it!” She replied, her eyes turning green.

“Pamela! Not here. Ronnie, why are you here?” Laurel questioned putting herself between Poison Ivy and Firestorm. Calling a ceasefire was not necessarily easy when Pam went crazy at the drop of a hat.

Gently nudging Laurel out of way with a gently thwap of her vines, Pam walked up to the newcomer and touched his face. It turned green, before absorbing into his skin.

He blinked at her, like he was waiting for something to happen.

“I’ve never met another elemental before. I had always assumed I’d meet that Aqua Fella, but he’s married. Bedding you will be quite enjoyable. Photosynthesis is just as necessary as water-”

She kisses him before they can stop her, and he puts his hand on her cheek to gently pull away.

Selina didn’t know the story between him and his ex-wife but she had a feeling it had been a very long time since someone had touched him like that.

Ronnie stays silent but motions for Oliver to follow him outside. She tries to eavesdrop while the assistant is wrapping up her dress but was unsuccessful with all the street traffic. The two of them return and while her Pam, her best friend since they were children, might have become a woman who was highly adept at seducing men: she blushes green when Ronnie offers his arm.

“How do you feel about getting out of here?” 

Pam looks to her, her eyes wide and hopeful. Selina nods and she lights up, “I’ll wear whatever you want.”

Selina wasn’t sure if Pam was talking to her or Ronnie. And she wanted to keep it that way.

**

Felicity paced around the kitchen once again watching Oliver eat his Wheaties.

“Is this where I ask what’s wrong?” Oliver asked between bites, purposefully avoiding eye contact by reading the back of the box.

How the man still wanted to eat Wheaties and Almond Milk everyday was a mystery to her but she, having eaten her skinny bagel with egg whites already was impatiently waiting.

“Nothing is wrong. Nothing. Nope.” If she denied it enough it would go way she was sure-

Oliver was not so convinced.

“Selina is getting married. And after our weird "friendship is magic tour" she has been- nice and civil and all that stuff and now I am too fat to fit into my bridesmaid dress. Which inevitably be the cataclysm for her horrible wedding pictures and she will blame me for the rest of her life.”

Oliver should not be laughing. Or smiling. Maybe he didn’t need a ride to the airport in the car that she paid their best friend to drive.

“I’m sure someone there can fix a dress.” Oliver smirked holding his arm out so she would move to stand next to him. One of his biggest pet peeves is that she ate breakfast in front of her computer, and not at the table “like civilized people”. One of her biggest pet peeves about him was that he expected her to drop everything so he could always be within arms reach.

Those were precious ten minutes she needed in the morning to catch up on emails before work. That was her thing.

Just like she worried about things and he was supposed to comfort her. Moving to his side, he rubbed his hand over her minuscule baby bump, that was just big enough to pop the zipper on her dress, and smiled. “Baby Queen is more important than a dress anyway.”

“Don’t tell Selina that.” Felicity shrugged leaning against her husband for strength. She was going to need it if Selina was going to be- Selina today.

Cut to five hours later, when Selina is stressed out about the wedding traditions she didn’t know about and then cats started showing up outside of the conservatory and someone sews her into the dress for pictures-

Her dress is oddly comfortable but she definitely could not bend over in it. Pam was overwhelmed on her Maid of Honor duties and there was no one who dared to tell Selina to calm the fuck down. Swearing, Felicity pulled her arm back and slapped Selina across the face. “Kyle, pull it together! This is happening and you are marrying Bruce and you will be the pinnacle of sass and class and you’re the fucking Catwoman! Get it together!”

She added a slap to the ass because she was pregnant and Selina wouldn’t kill a pregnant woman, right?

Laurel and Pamela both took a step back and waited for her explosion.

“You’re right.” Selina put her best smile on and headed towards the altar.

“Slow you’re roll, we go first.” Laurel pointed out, putting her shoulders back and taking Oliver’s arm, “Who would have thought- you- me- the aisle?”

Oliver laughed, thinking the two of them were out of earshot. Laurel leaned back to stick her tongue out at her and she returns the motion. He says something back but she can’t hear it over Lois harassing Clark about being late and making his tie crooked with the super speed. He replied that there was a fire in China and that the pictures were already sent to Perry.

The music starts, Laurel and Oliver are followed by Clark and Lois, Ivy and Hal, Felicity wondering who the last minute addition was-

“Lucius Fox?” Felicity questioned, taking his arm, “You’ve been dodging my call.”

“I’m a very busy man, Mrs. Queen. I’m also an old man who barely has time to eat let alone entertain merger talks from the richest woman in Star City.”

The conservatory was covered in white flowers, roses, lilies, a few that she couldn't place that were probably Ivy's doing.

“You don't become the richest woman in Star City by sitting on your hands. We _will_ talk later.” Felicity smiled evilly, taking her place next to Ivy on the altar. Oliver did his weak version of a wink at her and she smiled, remembering the last time they'd been on altar. He was a wreck that day and her gaze moved to the impenetrable force that was Bruce Wayne, he didn't look much better.

Bruce looked- nervous. Fidgeting with his cufflinks, the whole scene looked- odd. She had never seen him look nervous and when Selina turns the corner, he straightens measurably. Commissioner Gordon walked her down the aisle before kissing her cheek through the veil and taking a seat next to his own wife. When she finally gets to the altar, he steps to take her hand and it was magical and beautiful and yeah she’s crying, but who cares?

Her friends were getting married, she could cry if she wanted to.

The vows were simple and beautiful, the kiss was long and rounded third base before the whole room erupted in cheering, Bruce taking a small step back from his new bride. They exit the conservatory, a limo waiting to take them down the street to the reception. Lucius takes her hand and immediately hands her over to Oliver, making some excuse about urgent Wayne Enterprises business.

“What did you tell Laurel, before we walked down the aisle?”

He can fake a surprised look as well as anyone, but he tucks her arm into the crook of his elbow, “I told her she deserved better than the old me. Come on, Mrs. Queen, let’s go have our obligatory dance-”

She doesn’t want to press him about his evolution into a man, her boyfriend, her husband or the father of her child(ren). And if he was volunteering to dance, so she could give him the space he needed.

“I love you. Ollie and all.”

“I know. I love you. Goth and all.”

They spin and twirl and when she throws up later in the hotel bathroom, Oliver holds her hair back and rubs her back, blaming the dancing and not his future daughter. Selina, who is downright giddy, pounds on the door and tells them that she and Bruce are leaving.

“How come you’re not nauseous all the time?”

“I’m the fucking Catwoman.” Selina smiled repeating her words from earlier.

She could picture Selina smirking from the other side of the door and the two of them leaving their own reception early was not going to go over well with someone of the bigwigs Bruce invited, but she’s sure her new Frenemy would leave that for her to clean up.

“Have a good honeymoon.” Felicity meant the well wishes for probably the first time. Their body swap had been an eye opening experience. Neither of them were perfect and figuring out why they switched was a mystery she had yet to solve.

“Have a good- merger.” Selina said finally with a quick air kiss and a dramatic turn of the heel.

That was as close as they got to amicable and Felicity was okay with that. Their new friendship still had some growing to do. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really want a Gotham crossover, can you tell? haha. 
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> I do not own DC comics/Warner Bros. TV/Anything and make no profit from this work of fiction.


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